it's the secong last day of my vaction. then i left my home and went back to my accomodation.

 

the feeling is fairly strange. lost again.

 

before the vacation, i planned to stay at the u to compensate for my study time. and it turned out

 

that i spent the first three days on my cell phone chaos, the following two day in my home

 

watching TV shows to kil the time, and the last two day back to school to do someting useful to

 

make myself not to feel that bad.

 

many a time when the vacation comes, i set up a good plan to do some study but finally the plan

 

is brokien.

 

this noon when i am about to leave my home, i did feel unwilling to part with my dad. he has

 

become an old man, but his love to me never fade away. staying at home alone maybe to

 

lonely . and make me so concerned.

 

be a good boy, don't let down ur father.

 

 

to be honest ,i, sadly , is a boy without charactor.

 

why?

 

just for the reason that i cater for everyone.

 

i am too good at tolerate, to the degree that i have no principal.

 

am i smart to  live a life like this?

 

to be pratical, it may be smart.

 

but for the aspect of the true meaning of life,it is definitely not.

 

which way should i choose.

 

there is no one who is really good, and no one who is really bad.

 

there is no thing which is really of everyuse , and no thing of no use.

 

no action good to every one ,and bad to every one.

 

how to judge what is good  and right from what is bad and wrong?

 

where came the standard?

 

if several thousand years ago, some one who was so honored set up another social habit and

 

standard, the polite act today will become impolite? the immoral become moral?

 

the world just mess uo.

 

is the world today just a coincidence?

 

the solidary earth is only the combination of a series of incidence and inacuracy and indefinity.

 

the earth came from a bad joke of the god~

 

that is not a bad answer to my question.

 

 

 

to log on the space for the purpose to kill my time

 

recently i can sense my chang. not the vigorous and not so passionate.

 

a boy who is going through the society and the university, really lost in the feeling of depression.

 

maybe not much people can feel the burdon imposed on myself. the study the family the S

U and Yoyo . all these did joint hand to give me the feeling of deseperate. i am really a bit lost.

 

what do i really want to be?

 

and what i want to do?

 

what i want to get?

 

date back throught all my twenty years, nothing has ever really apeal to me.

 

somting called basketball seems to be the accomodation of my soul for some time.

 

but now it just fall into someting of my kill-time entertainment.

 

study to me is just the entry to a good future. i am not that kind of people who are eager for

 

truth and knowlege.

 

then what?

 

frame?

 

while i am longing for it, i am    also despising it. a guy who does all his efforts to purchase frame

 

has never been the guy i would like to be.

 

really a question for me to over come~ my way~

 

to find my way, find my charactor, and my life

 

to be continue